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11th Ramadhan 1438

I was at the second last row for taraawiih prayers and I was thinking to myself : 

You know what. It was too hard for you to join the jemaah for the past few years.

You’ll be anywhere at the back for now. 

But maybe, just maaybe, one day He’ll make it easy for you to be at the front row. Allahumma aamiin.

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Strive

I used to be normal. Like an average human being.

I walked. And i walked. I ran. Towards my goal.

My luck. I fell.

QaddaraAllah. MaasyaAllah.

Got up. I got a cut.

I stood up.

I looked at the scar the cut had left me with.

I am scared. Afraid of falling.

I procrastinated.

I paused and look around the people passing me. Envy envelopes.

I said: “I need to observe the road. I need time”

Oh how long have i been here.

“I am trying”

They say mistakes indicate that you’re trying. You are not making a mistake.

Took baby steps.

I walked. And i walked. Slowly now.

I jogged.

I ran.

I fell.

QaddaraAllah. MaasyaAllah.

I stayed there. I cried. Refused to get up.

The sight of my goal diminishes.

Hanging on to a thin thread of hope.

Tears dried up. I got up.

I tried. I knew i tried hard. Brave.

I am walking now. Slowly.

And i am still walking.

6/3/13