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January

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Highlights of the month

1) My teacher told us that belacan is considered makruh. I was like say whaaaaat. I love sambal tumis and belacan is used to make sambal tumis.

She was saying that her father tried to make belacan before and because there is a need to ferment the small prawns (udang kering??) then there’ll be maggot. (MAGGOTS OKAY. MAGGOTS) and of course, belacan is super smelly.

So people that wanted to take care of their memorisation should abstain from it. (Patut lah tak hafal2🙄🙄🙄🙄)

Teacher why you tell me😭😭😭

2) She also told us that not all people of Jannah would be given the pleasure of looking at Allah. 

I know I should strive more than just being sad and all and do nothing….but really…… ☹️😞😭😭

This blog name is basically the description of the faces that were given the pleasure of looking at Allah….

☹️😞😭

3) Make yourself busy, it will help you to not focus on your feelings. Oh you know, dwelling on your fellings will make you 😭😂😅🤓😤🤣😂🙃🤓 I’m a confused soul(😜)

4) I nak jadi housewife. Tak bedek. But living in Singapore and the circumstances we are in and all make that hard. Kan?

5) When I am young: ‘being a teacher is like the last occupation I want to be’.

Me now: Okay maybe I’ll teach in Maarif. (Yes I’m from Maarif- so erm Hi? No you don’t know me)

6) Graduating soon and the idea of working in an office is making me…..go into depression (exaggerate nye ya Allah🙄) so if I want to become a housewife, I must go and find a guy and get married? Right? (Then mum starts talking about some guy and I’ll be running away. Literally runs away🙄😂. I’m a confused soul) 

7) One of my so-called junuud mujannadah msged me recently. Oh you know الأرواح جنود مجندة hadith. (The meaning of the full hadith being: Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.)

Because the first time we met, we are like “we met before”. Then we didn’t meet each other after that camp till like 6 years later or so? Then we became close for like a year(?), then we drifted apart then now well, normal lah. 

And I realized how many of my friends and I are like that. We were close then drifted apart then close again. And it is cool how we drifted apart, changed, meet again. And I guess sometimes the new them kind of make you smile. (Sekali I already met my jodoh before ey?????? Then later on meet again🤔) 

I think I would be irritated at myself for posting this blog post as it may contain some personal stuff and erm unbeneficial stuff in it, but okay….maybe I would make you smile or laugh. You see….one of the beloved deeds to Allah is that you make another muslim haaaappyyyy. (So if you are not, then step happy lah please)

May you find something beneficial in this ♥️ (Hopefully. Belacan makruh. Okay. Chiozz😭)

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The Love Series #10

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

We are creatures that will search for reasons and meanings behind every single thing.

I remember scrutinizing every single word you used in your text messages. From your short forms and abbreviations. The languge and the style you used. I even zoomed in your display picture to read every single word in it.

Such was the past. Puppy love they might say.

There’ll be people who would laugh but yet understand this love- One of the signs of a lover is that he/she’ll noticed every single detail about the one he/she loved.

But how ironic.

There’ll be people that will belittle and question why there are narrations after narrations of how many white hairs are there when Rasulullah  صلى الله عليه وسلم passed away or what is it about that He used his left or right leg when entering a place. It was never just about going in with a right or left leg, it is that the one I love does that. And I want to do what my beloved is doing.

Such was the level of their love. It makes me questioned whether these people (who questioned these narrations) ever fall in love. Don’t they understand? 

And if I ever look back to the reason or meaning why Allah allowed me to fall in love with such a person, it could be this. It could be that when Allah allows my heart to fall in love, maybe it is to make me understand what love means.

As if making me to realize my false love to Rasulullah  صلى الله عليه وسلم. For how I can I say I love when I did not scrutinize him and his life?

And maybe that was the sole reason for loving this particular creation. 

Such was the past. Puppy love they might say.

And that was indeed a blessing.

اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله صحبه وسلم

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Dalia Mogahed’s Ted Talk

I didn’t just passively accept the faith of my parents. I wrestled with the Quran. I read and reflected and questioned and doubted and, ultimately, believed.My relationship with God — it was not love at first sight. It was a trust and a slow surrender that deepened with every reading of the Quran. Its rhythmic beauty sometimes moves me to tears. I see myself in it. I feel that God knows me. Have you ever felt like someone sees you, completely understands you and yet loves you anyway? That’s how it feels.