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Bermanja denganNya

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I just liked Ustazah HJ puts it, kadang Allah bagi masalah jadi kite boleh manje-manje dengan Allah🌹

Isn’t it the case? We usually call Him out wholeheartedly when our heart is in pieces?

And as how Ustazah Halimah Alaydrus puts it in her book, Tutur Hati:

Dalam setiap seruanmu memanggil

‘Ya Allah…’

Terdapat jawapan-Nya,

‘Hamba-Ku….Akulah untukmu.’

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Copycat

I saw the people I love and looked up to doing that or didn’t do that so I figure I’ll just imitate them…..not because I felt I was one of them but in hoping I can one day become one of them.

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27 March 2018

It was class number 16.

It was one of, what I considered, easiest and one of my favourite chapter to read.

And I struggled.

I have never repeated a line that many times in front of my teacher.

I got tongue tied, each word felt heavy.

لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله

Are my sins burdening my recitation now?

أَلَمْ يَأْنِ لِلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَن تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ

Has not the time come for the hearts of those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah – Islamic Monotheism) to be affected by Allah’s Reminder (this Quran)

بلى يا رب قد آن. بلى يا رب قد آن.

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The Love Series #13

To the one that is in control of my heart,

I don’t think I have ever come to a (100%) realisation before, that all the feelings I have ever had is one of the proofs of your existence, your control and power over my very being.

إِنَّا لله Truly! To Allah we belong

For the love I have for people and things for absolutely no reason: it strengthens my belief that there is a much greater power that is in control of me. And with that I asked of You, the one that had filled my heart with these love, to make me love those beloved to You, to make me love actions that will draw me closer to You and to grant me Your love.

For the hatred I have for people and things with valid reasons, I asked of You to help me to remember and act upon the verse ‘Do good as Allah has been good to you’. (أحسن كما أحسن الله إليك). Indeed you have only been good to me despite all the disobedience I have done to You.

Maybe that is all is there to it. Falling in love made you wonder where this feeling came from, and only to realise that it came from God.

And when this ‘love’ had left you broken, the only way to mend yourself is to ask the one that had put that ‘love’ to remove it from you, and to mend your heart, caress it and cure it.

And during the process of all that, perhaps that is when you truly fall in love, with the purest form of love, with the one that gives love- God.

Maybe that is all is there to it, to love God.

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Help

You knew I was broken. You knew my heart was already shattered. The soles of my feet were bleeding. My calves were sore. I was sitting down very slowly in your house. Thinking about giving up.

Help.

One of your slaves came by. One of my favourite kind, the furry four-legged cat.

It jumped on me and slept on my lap. I got so excited and I told everyone.

And You knew that. You knew I was going to be so overjoyed.

And when I was moving away, I thought to myself, ‘You forgot you were tired, everything is okay now? Hhmm?’

Help, His help can come by in many forms. Sometimes, it is not in the removal of the problem, but He’ll give you His slaves to assist.

‘No no no, you will still be sick, but I am going to send you this cat to calm you down.’

‘No no no, you will still be sick, but people around you will be able to be patient with you.’

‘No no no, you will still be sick, but I am going to ease your journey there, yes yes hotel near the mosque, everyone will be sleeping when you need to pray in the airplane, you don’t feel like going to the toilet, 5 minutes wait in airport there.’

فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

So verily, with the hardship, there is relief,

إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

Verily, with the hardship, there is relief.