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Psychic

I think I have been watching The Mentalist a lot these days. I think it is a fun show to watch, very intriguing I must say – how Patrick Jane can solve the case out of the blue.

I think it is, perhaps, cool to become a psychic. But then again, would you want to be one?

The truth hurts, not all the time. But it still hurts sometimes.

I asked one of my almost psychic friend to list down the names of the people I love. She gave a name of someone that I have not talked to nor have I even talked about for a very long time(long as in years), but I still loved her anyway.

And although she accompanied her reply with a capital HAHAHAH when I asked her how she knew, her answer kind of hurt.

Because I think you love her more than me

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Much Love

You hurt me so much so that I need to put a funny emoticon as well as the heart emoticon beside your name in my phone.

So whenever you decide to call, I’ll remember how much joy and love you have brought in my life. 

And that, I hope, will make forgiving to be much easier to do.

I don’t want to lose you again…. but somehow, I did.

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Purpose in Life

Take a pen and a piece of paper
If you can’t then close your eyes

What do want in this life?
If I ask you to list at least five
What will if be?
I can assure you marrying that person will not be in it

You want peace
His forgiveness and His redha
To be able to see Him and His beloved صلى الله عليه وسلم
To be able to practice His religion and his sunnah
To be able to enter Jannah together with your parents without hisab

Yes its gonna hurt
But now look
Its the reason now you go to Him saying
Allah….Allah….

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Love is a Test

R: Why do you love?
Why is it so hard?
Why subject urself to hurt if theres a possibility of not gg anywhere?

A: Love is an intruder and life is a test. Remember the goal.
Maybe you will be rewarded for correctly directing that love.
Maybe you will be rewarded for not having a relationship with him.
Maybe you will be rewarded for trying to get him out of your head.
Maybe you will be rewarded if you ever feel hurt in the end.
Maybe you will be rewarded for being content with His decree that it just wasn’t meant to be.

Maybe the purpose of it all was just to test you. The love you felt was so that Allah will replace it with a much sweeter reward. Maybe His love. Maybe His love…

Insyaa Allah.

Allah…wrap and fill our hearts with your love.

18/04/2015

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Pushed- edited version

I did not want to
But I was forced to anyway
Caught up in a situation
Which I put myself there in the first place
Now I am being cornered
There is simply no other way

In other words
I was simply pushed
Deeply hurt
It penetrates through this heart
No no wait,
It was as if pain was from within this heart

But I know

It was as if,
By pushing me
I was supposed to realize
Just how far i can jump

As if on a broken bridge
I was underestimating my strength
And overestimating the gap
Being pessimistic as i usually am

As if on the edge of a cliff
Like an eagle with a sharp vision
And powerful wings
I did not know they ever worked till then

And it was as if i was pushed so that this hope of mine shattered
but…
To only making me see the light of another hope that i desire to see in my life

Too long in this dark tunnel
That glimpse of light just lift me up
From almost dragging to running
Really, there is hope

Now forget jumping,
Im flying

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Broken

There is a saying which states that
When you are feeling the heaviness of the load
When you know you are struggling
When the journey is so hard that it cracks your heart
It means that you are climbing
It means that you are moving forward
It means that you are making an effort

Yes i feel the load
The pressure
I am overwhelmed
By the circumstances placed all around
I keep looking back
Maybe i should turn back
Maybe this is a bad idea
Maybe i should have not wasted my time

The thing is
I am full of scratches now
Blue black bruises
Deep cuts and severely wounded

I am scared 
That if i ever get over this
Would I become a happier person
Or just, Broken.