When your seven year old asked you: Teacher, are you sad?

Me: *Caught of guard* Ya! Because, you are not concentrating!

Her curiosity was so genuine and pure that I wondered just what if I said yes and I told her what made me sad?



بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

“Ummi (mother), I asked ustaz (teacher) that day about my friends. How come they sin but I don’t see Allah punishing them…”

“What did he reply you?”

“He asked me to ask them whether they pray tahajjud. Why?”

“Uwais, what kind of punishment do you expect? Isn’t it enough of a punishment for a believer that Allah did not honour them with His remembrance? When he did not invite you by waking you up in the middle of the night to be in His presence when everyone is asleep?

Uwais, you complained about not being able to be consistent in reading the Quran, review what you have done. Look at your deeds.”


14th Jan

13th of Jan went on smoothly. 9-3pm lecture. 4-5.15pm tuition. 8-10pm lecture. There were some hiccups along the way, but okay…. Alhamdulillah. I take it.

14th of Jan started of real bad. But I didn’t cry. I don’t know if I should be worry about that. Is this a sign of strength? Or am I too numb to feel anything anymore.

“Collect yourself!”

It is as if pieces of me have been shattered for far too long that I can’t seem to even remember if that piece ever belonged to me.

“Collect myself? I don’t even know myself anymore.”


The Provider

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I feel like I did not write for a very long time, only to realise that the last post was only 6 days ago. (And there is a draft post that I wrote 1 day ago.)

My mother told me a lot of things, and one of which I hold on to is to not be preoccupied with the cost of a class. I can’t say that I wholeheartedly hold on to it, there were times that I have my doubts.

On the 29th of December, I came back home happy as I have managed to register for a class that I (really) wanted to join back in 2016. Not realising that I did not think through the cost of the class. (I know, what?!?)

Today, 7th of January, since it is my birthday month, my brother let me choose what I want.

So I offered him, do you want to pay for my class? You want to pay the miscellaneous fees or the monthly fees?

I thought he just wanted to pay for this month fees. But he offered to pay for the whole course. MasyaAllah. (Maybe he will pay for my future diploma also…aamiin)

Anyone else wants to pay for my other classes? I have other classes too. You can totally contact me if you want. Any takers? No?


May Allah reward him bountifully.


You against yourself

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Maybe I was thinking about how I was using instagram these days, hence the link.

I was checking one of my family member’s quran reading and today, this ayat was read to me:

ٱقْرَأْ كِتَٰبَكَ كَفَىٰ بِنَفْسِكَ ٱلْيَوْمَ عَلَيْكَ حَسِيبًا

(It will be said to him): “Read your book. You yourself are sufficient as a reckoner against you this Day.”

Some of us use instagram as an online photo album, or use a blog to express and whatever not.

It is as if it was said to me:

“Open your own account with your own password that you have created yourself and you be the judge.”

Are there pictures of you or other people’s aurat exposed? Are there pictures of you sinning? Are there captions or blog posts expressing your (ignorant) views that were against your religion?

Amazing really. Technology.

It knows what kind of post you would like based on who you follow, what pictures you liked, the videos you watched etc.

We don’t even need to wait till the next life, if we are able to access instagram’s intelligence/data on our account to see how much time we spent there, what we watched, what we liked, I think we would freak out on the minute details they know about us.

Nothing compared to the information He has on our lives.

But really, although He knew us inside out, it is enough that we use our own knowledge of ourselves to go against ourselves.

ٱقْرَأْ كِتَٰبَكَ كَفَىٰ بِنَفْسِكَ ٱلْيَوْمَ عَلَيْكَ حَسِيبًا

(It will be said to him): “Read your book. You yourself are sufficient as a reckoner against you this Day.”