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Having good opinion of Him

My friend asked how am I feeling today. Because I fell sick (again) yesterday and so I borrowed her lap to sleep in the MRT for the whole 30+ minutes journey back home yesterday. Oh ya, then I almost fell because I can’t feel my right leg. My friend n my mum then supported me on my right and left side respectively till we were out of the ez-link gantry.

Woo. Drama ๐Ÿ™„

Many things happened today (as in yesterday, now is 00:07) 

From rushing to go to school, school’s computer not working well so I can’t print my slides on time, the lecturer let us go late so I managed to just eat a sandwich (that cost $3?!) before the next class, my hijab fell on the toilet floor when I was taking my wudhuk, so I went home to change although the plan was not to go home as I have a night class. 

So went home, got ready, did not have dinner, I ran ran ran till I was infront of the MRT. But the door just decided to close at that moment. And my heart sank.

Amazingly though, just as I was going to board the next MRT, the former MRT’s door opened. So I just ran in. Duh. MasyaAllah. Alhamdulillah

I reached class just as my teacher messaged me to enter the class if I have reached.

I replied my friend by telling her about my hijab that fell and she replied something along the line of:  It is okay, maybe if my hijab did not fall then something worse might happen.

I needed that.

Always have good thoughts of Him.

๐ŸŒณCute tree

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Sick

It came as a surprise to be honest. I fell sick in 2010, 2013 then suddenly Feb ’17 and now.

A lot of things ran through my head.

How Rasulullah ุตู„ู‰ ุงู„ู„ู‡ ุนู„ูŠู‡ ูˆุณู„ู… faced the fever he faced nearing his death, how my Mumu faced and endured all those chemotherapies, how my mum still need to be a mum when she is sick.

And here I am being a vegetable, lying all day long with my throbbing head.

Being sick apparently allows you to see who you are.

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Honour your Teachers

Neither the teacher nor the physician advise you

Unless they are honoured.

So bear your disease patiently if you have wronged its healer

And be satisfied with your ignorance if you have wronged a teacher.

Excerpt from the book ‘Instruction of the student. The method of learning.’ by Imam Al-Zarnuji. Chapter 4. Pg 14.

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January

ุจุณู… ุงู„ู„ู‡ ุงู„ุฑุญู…ู† ุงู„ุฑุญูŠู…

Highlights of the month

1) My teacher told us that belacan is considered makruh. I was like say whaaaaat. I love sambal tumis and belacan is used to make sambal tumis.

She was saying that her father tried to make belacan before and because there is a need to ferment the small prawns (udang kering??) then there’ll be maggot. (MAGGOTS OKAY. MAGGOTS) and of course, belacan is super smelly.

So people that wanted to take care of their memorisation should abstain from it. (Patut lah tak hafal2๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„)

Teacher why you tell me๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

2) She also told us that not all people of Jannah would be given the pleasure of looking at Allah. 

I know I should strive more than just being sad and all and do nothing….but really…… โ˜น๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

This blog name is basically the description of the faces that were given the pleasure of looking at Allah….

โ˜น๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜ญ

3) Make yourself busy, it will help you to not focus on your feelings. Oh you know, dwelling on your fellings will make you ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿค“ I’m a confused soul(๐Ÿ˜œ)

4) I nak jadi housewife. Tak bedek. But living in Singapore and the circumstances we are in and all make that hard. Kan?

5) When I am young: ‘being a teacher is like the last occupation I want to be’.

Me now: Okay maybe I’ll teach in Maarif. (Yes I’m from Maarif- so erm Hi? No you don’t know me)

6) Graduating soon and the idea of working in an office is making me…..go into depression (exaggerate nye ya Allah๐Ÿ™„) so if I want to become a housewife, I must go and find a guy and get married? Right? (Then mum starts talking about some guy and I’ll be running away. Literally runs away๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚. I’m a confused soul) 

7) One of my so-called junuud mujannadah msged me recently. Oh you know ุงู„ุฃุฑูˆุงุญ ุฌู†ูˆุฏ ู…ุฌู†ุฏุฉ hadith. (The meaning of the full hadith being: Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.)

Because the first time we met, we are like “we met before”. Then we didn’t meet each other after that camp till like 6 years later or so? Then we became close for like a year(?), then we drifted apart then now well, normal lah. 

And I realized how many of my friends and I are like that. We were close then drifted apart then close again. And it is cool how we drifted apart, changed, meet again. And I guess sometimes the new them kind of make you smile. (Sekali I already met my jodoh before ey?????? Then later on meet again๐Ÿค”) 

I think I would be irritated at myself for posting this blog post as it may contain some personal stuff and erm unbeneficial stuff in it, but okay….maybe I would make you smile or laugh. You see….one of the beloved deeds to Allah is that you make another muslim haaaappyyyy. (So if you are not, then step happy lah please)

May you find something beneficial in this โ™ฅ๏ธ (Hopefully. Belacan makruh. Okay. Chiozz๐Ÿ˜ญ)

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Sane

I sort of believed that these unpleasant news kept coming in to keep me sane.

It was like a ‘Eureka’ moment for me. I thought to myself ‘So this is what make mothers strong ey….’

Love, baby, love.

Apparently, I found strength from the misfortunate events of my loved ones.

Sort of like ‘I need to be strong to be able to be there for them’.

A kind of a blessing too. My energy focussing on them to the extent that I can’t even dwell into my feelings for far too long for the misfortunate events in my life.

Drama sangat semuannya.

“You okay?”

“If you are soaked, the drizzle won’t affect you.”

โค ุงู„ู„ู‡ู… ุขุฌุฑู†ุง ููŠ ู…ุตูŠุจุชู†ุง ูˆุงุฎู„ูู†ุง ุฎูŠุฑุง ู…ู†ู‡ุง

 

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Breakdowns

Maybe we have been around each other far too long and perhaps our soul kind of need each other.

Maybe it is not the people or the place. Maybe we are just missing each other’s company.

Maybe we just need to be like we used to be.

Maybe we need to be in the same school, same class and same tuition.

Maybe we need to buy two ice lemon teas and two paddlepops.

Maybe we need each other’s shoulder and lap to sleep on.

Maybe I need you to bring me snacks.

Maybe I need you to talk to me.

Maybe you need me to listen.

Maybe I took a piece of you,

And maybe you took a piece of me.

And that is why we almost always feel….like there is something not right.

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‘Nak Jalan-Jalan’

Yes of course I am a little bit sad because….I chose to not follow them to buy things in JB because of some circumstances that I am in. But instead of being all sad, it is better to think of the people that had put up with me throughout this phase of mine. 

O Allah, make it just a phase that I am going through and take me to next phase as how I was suddenly brought into this phase. 

Okay so much for wanting to follow coz ‘nak jalan-jalan’, after all, bersiar-siarnye orang beriman adalah membuat ketaatan dan membaca hadith-hadith Rasulullah ุตู„ู‰ ุงู„ู„ู‡ ุนู„ูŠู‡ ูˆุณู„ู… kaaaaan.

May Allah make us true believersโ™ฅ๏ธ

InsyaAllah