I will take this opportunity of being on medical leave today to pen down my thoughts.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
My friend commented on how ‘things’ always happen not according to plan when I am with her.
For example, she has been going back and forth to KL but when I am with her, the bus delayed and then there is a random switch of bus which further delayed the whole journey.
Or when that time the bus broke down in the middle of the highway.
(Which made me think perhaps I was the reason our umrah flight delayed for two days. 🤔)
I can take this negatively and go “You know what, maybe I am such a bad luck”
But I could also think good of Allah and say: “He is building me. He is teaching me patience. He is polishing me. He is helping me to build up my tolerance level. Be patient.”
I will look back at all the notes given to me by a friend or my students and it usually have something along the line of “Thank you for being patient with me.”
And trust me, I usually ask Him back, ‘Were all that I went through the means in which I am able to be patient enough in order to benefit this slave of yours?’
Isn’t it the case that when He loves a slave He tests them? [إذا أحب الله عبده ابتلاه]
And isn’t it the case that He will be what his slaves expects Him to be? [أنا عند ظن عبدي بي]
I am not bad luck. Maybe this is a form of tarbiyyah. It is just that perhaps my soul needed that to happen. Because with all the luxury and ease I am put forth with, these are the moments of difficulty that led my heart to yearn for Him: Allahhh…Allaahh…
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
I forgot the verse ولتسئلن يوميذ عن النعيم during my tasmi’
I was taught to aim for full marks. So, obviously I didn’t take it well when I stuttered during my examination.
I just started my full time job and there was like this training and that training and I still have my tuitions and then this course. I reached home at 10pm+ almost everyday and was still working on weekends. And somehow I thought my mind is not going to stall with that kind of schedule.
So apparently, it was ‘Isyak and it happened that when I was being super upset (while crying, hahah) at the situation, I stepped into the musolla when the imam was reading
“….كان سعيكم مشكورا”
It was like: “It does not matter if you didn’t score well. It is the intention and effort that counts.”
And after much contemplation, it hit me:
On the verse that I forgot ولتسئلن يوميذ عن النعيم:
I almost did not join the course because of my situation at that point of time. I wasn’t sure if I can mentally cope. And lo and behold, I completed it and I didn’t skip any classes. Alhamdulillah. (God knows the tough days of me crying in the toilet. Haha!)
Basically, I was reminded of the fact that I should be thankful of the fact that I can even crawl out of the house and was brave enough to join. And the case wasn’t really true if this was a few years back. It was as if I wasn’t thankful for the situation I was in (able to go to class) and now I am complaining about the fact that I did not scored well for the exam.
Anndd I just registered for the diploma course! Bismillah!
In all honesty, it hurts less this time round. Maybe your departure was always at the back of my mind; random, sudden and selfish.
Leave as you pleased, get out and let us just move on.
You do you now, and I do I.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم
1. Mengumpul duit untuk menunaikan rukun islam yg kelima
2. Mencari duit supaya dapat kekal menjadi penuntut ilmu
3. Semoga terlebih rezeki dpt ziarah Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم pada setiap tahun
4. Khidmat pada ummat Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم
5. Mencukupkan dari meminta-minta daripada manusia
6. Melaksanakan kewajiban menafkahi kepada orang-orang yang wajib dinafkahi
7. Mendapatkan ampunan
8. Membantu kalangan lemah dan orang yang miskin
9. Melaksanakan fardhu kifayah
10. Bersabar dalam mu’amalah dengan masyarakat
11. Memenuhi kebutuhan manusia
A parent, especially the mother, will only want the best for the child.
We often hear people advising pregnant mothers to oh read Surah Yusof or Surah Maryam etc. (Not that it is not good.)
And I just think…..that the best ‘thing’ you can give a child is to become the best of you. It is quite apparent from the books I’ve read on the likes of habiibii Imam Muhammad bin Idris or Imam Nu’man bin Tsabit (may Allah have mercy on them), they don’t just become one of the greatest scholars and wali of Allah. (By the will of Allah, anyone can become great.) But if you read on, you’ll see how pious their mothers are.
In educating and disciplining a child, you need to educate and discipline yourself. You come first.
Stop your usage of bad words in front and behind of your child. Hang tak taat tuhan awat expect anak taat tuhan? Pergh. Awat hang maki2 hamun, nak duduk majlis ilmu susah, Quran tak bukak langsung tetibe nak anak sopan santun, pandai, berakhlaq. Ewah ewah ewah.
As how Aiman Azlan puts it : Parenting starts before marriage and the first child you will raise is yourself.
How can you put a high expectation on them to have taqwa of Allah, when you yourself don’t?
Everyone have their own motivation.
Some people will strive because they don’t want to end up in hell.
While some are so intrigued by what they can get in Jannah.
Some just want to be with their beloved.
And I hope I remember the point of this blog’s name.