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Numb

I never thought of it this way, well until one fine day.

I am not judging anyone of you people out there, but I always see is as an aib or a flaw if I was caught continuously watching something. Like how messed up am I that I continuously watch shows or videos. How low can my standard of living be. No, you were not made for this. How could you stoop so low watching things that could never benefit you and worst, harm your afterlife.

But interestingly enough, I am simply numbing myself aren’t I?

‘No, don’t think of that office job. No, no more bursting your lips. Nah, no more Macs during lunch. Nope, no more nasty toilets. Nope.’

And for some reason, unless you mix around with the right people, nobody is going to highlight that to you. Nobody is going to ‘Hey, you are kind of getting too deep in this mess.’

Except for some, or I mean, well….one.

‘You are watching Finding Dory?’……and ‘Your motive? (of sending me your funny pictures)’

Not many people will remind you your purpose in life. What is your intention in doing that? Will this benefit you or anyone? You are not created to waste time, please wake up, you are getting good at that (wasting time).

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Not what it seems

It is usually the case that when God take away something from you, He will give you in other ways. 

To most, a holiday is something you plan and usually something you look forward to. But it could be, for some, torturous. 

Maybe you got jealous over some lifestyle, not knowing that was part and parcel of them healing.

May the following excerpts shed some light on you: 

(https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/ocd-and-the-holiday-season/)

So what should OCD sufferers do when faced with all these holiday events fraught with doubt and uncertainty?

The answer is clear. They should push through their anxiety and embrace the doubt and uncertainty that is holding them hostage. Yes, there is uncertainty that comes with traveling or vacationing or entertaining. Indeed, there is uncertainty in every aspect of our lives, and we all need to learn to accept, not fear, it.

I know it’s not easy. My son Dan suffered from OCD so severe he could not even eat. He was barely functioning. I have seen firsthand how OCD can destroy lives. But I have also seen how it can be overcome. I have written before about Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) Therapy, the frontline treatment for OCD, and in a nutshell, this therapy is about facing one’s fears as well as accepting the uncertainty of life. Giving in to what OCD demands only fuels it; standing up to OCD takes away its power. And while ERP therapy is difficult, it’s in no way as hard as living a life dictated by the disorder. Therapists who are properly trained in ERP therapy can help those who are suffering from OCD regain their lives.

If you have obsessive-compulsive disorder, I propose that you give yourself a gift this holiday season and make the commitment to stand up to your OCD. Reclaim your life. You deserve to enjoy the holidays, and every day, with your family and friends instead of being controlled by obsessions and compulsions. It will not only be a gift to yourself, but just might possibly be the best gift you could ever give to those who care about you.”

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Psychic

I think I have been watching The Mentalist a lot these days. I think it is a fun show to watch, very intriguing I must say – how Patrick Jane can solve the case out of the blue.

I think it is, perhaps, cool to become a psychic. But then again, would you want to be one?

The truth hurts, not all the time. But it still hurts sometimes.

I asked one of my almost psychic friend to list down the names of the people I love. She gave a name of someone that I have not talked to nor have I even talked about for a very long time(long as in years), but I still loved her anyway.

And although she accompanied her reply with a capital HAHAHAH when I asked her how she knew, her answer kind of hurt.

Because I think you love her more than me

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Much Love

You hurt me so much so that I need to put a funny emoticon as well as the heart emoticon beside your name in my phone.

So whenever you decide to call, I’ll remember how much joy and love you have brought in my life. 

And that, I hope, will make forgiving to be much easier to do.

I don’t want to lose you again…. but somehow, I did.