0

27 March 2018

It was class number 16.

It was one of, what I considered, easiest and one of my favourite chapter to read.

And I struggled.

I have never repeated a line that many times in front of my teacher.

I got tongue tied, each word felt heavy.

لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله

Are my sins burdening my recitation now?

أَلَمْ يَأْنِ لِلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَن تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ

Has not the time come for the hearts of those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah – Islamic Monotheism) to be affected by Allah’s Reminder (this Quran)

بلى يا رب قد آن. بلى يا رب قد آن.

Advertisements
0

Rant on Adab Hati

Ey kenape tk skip je terus?

“Sebab tuhan lagi tahu betapa adab dan akhlaq aku maseh tahap tadika.

Memang pejalaran tu semua senang bagi aku

Tapi tuhan jadi saksi betapa susahnye nk jage hati bile dngr bende yg dh pernah belajar

Bile ustaz slowkan pelajaran sebab classmate kau ade yg dh boleh jadi nenek kau

Tuhan je tahu keadaan hati bile dtng cume dpt 5minit je and orng lain dpt more time.

Kadang kau diletakkn dekat sini bukan sbb tuhan nk ajar kau ilmu tu

Tapi Allah nk ajarkn kau adab

Dan itu lagi awlaa lagi.

Bile kau nk tngk betapa islamnye org tu, kau tngk adab die.

Aku maseh jauh.

Aku maseh tahap fail.

Kau jgn kacau aku, biar aku kt sini.

Biar aku mula dari bawah.

Maafkan aku pakai bahasa kasar aku/kau.”

0

Pecah

Kadang, kau dah terlalu keras.

Keras kepala, keras hati.

Maka jalan penyelesaiannya adalah pecah.

Pecah kerana hentaman yang teramat kuat.

Berderai bertaburan ditiup angin.

Baru boleh kau berubah.

Diubahsuaikan menjadi kau yang baru.

Kau yang benar ikut kehendakNya.

Maka sambutlah keadaan itu dengan baik.

Dengan hati yang terbuka, redha dan yakin dengan aturanNya.

Kadang, kau kene pecah untuk jadi kau yang baru.

0

You

You are that dream I never thought would one day become my nightmare.

I never thought that that feeling could even be felt when I am asleep.

I ran far far away from everything you but

Why is it that I still see you.

0

He Listens, He Answers, He is talking to you.

When you are searching for that one verse to remind you to not look at what He gave others but you can’t seem find it. But then you stood behind the imam, and he reads out the exact verse that you are looking for:

وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَىٰ مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِۦٓ أَزْوَٰجًا مِّنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ ۚ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَىٰ

And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah), the splendour of the life of this world that We may test them thereby. But the provision (good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more lasting.

When you are mad at yourself for being you and your mind starts to have all the debate about if only you are like everyone else. And then the imam reads the verse:

سَلَٰمٌ عَلَيْكُم بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ ۚ فَنِعْمَ عُقْبَى ٱلدَّارِ

“Salamun ‘Alaikum (peace be upon you) for that you persevered in patience! Excellent indeed is the final home!”

Such ‘coincidence’.

0

Sometimes

Sometimes, it is not about those that were present in every anniversaries, every birthdays, graduations and all the big events in your life.

Well, they matter.

But sometimes, it is about those that were always present in every 3am breakdowns, every confused moments, every roller coaster ride (metaphorically speaking), every frustration and every teardrop.

You are lucky if there is even one around.

Keep them.