If only it was possible to trade my fair skin that I never asked for
If only I could give up my iPhone 7 that I never asked for
If only I could exchange my business seat that I never asked for
If only I could pay cash
If only there was a price tag
I would have paid for it
I would have paid for it.
And when people thought about oh how lucky
It comes with a price
Oh it comes with a price
A price no amount of money can buy.
When your seven year old asked you: Teacher, are you sad?
Me: *Caught of guard* Ya! Because, you are not concentrating!
Her curiosity was so genuine and pure that I wondered just what if I said yes and I told her what made me sad?
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
“Ummi (mother), I asked ustaz (teacher) that day about my friends. How come they sin but I don’t see Allah punishing them…”
“What did he reply you?”
“He asked me to ask them whether they pray tahajjud. Why?”
“Uwais, what kind of punishment do you expect? Isn’t it enough of a punishment for a believer that Allah did not honour them with His remembrance? When he did not invite you by waking you up in the middle of the night to be in His presence when everyone is asleep?
Uwais, you complained about not being able to be consistent in reading the Quran, review what you have done. Look at your deeds.”
13th of Jan went on smoothly. 9-3pm lecture. 4-5.15pm tuition. 8-10pm lecture. There were some hiccups along the way, but okay…. Alhamdulillah. I take it.
14th of Jan started of real bad. But I didn’t cry. I don’t know if I should be worry about that. Is this a sign of strength? Or am I too numb to feel anything anymore.
It is as if pieces of me have been shattered for far too long that I can’t seem to even remember if that piece ever belonged to me.
“Collect myself? I don’t even know myself anymore.”
I overheard this one line in a TV series the other day. The person was almost shouting to the other person:
‘I regret loving you!’
In which I thought to myself:
‘But is loving a person a choice?
Was loving you a choice?’
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
I feel like I did not write for a very long time, only to realise that the last post was only 6 days ago. (And there is a draft post that I wrote 1 day ago.)
My mother told me a lot of things, and one of which I hold on to is to not be preoccupied with the cost of a class. I can’t say that I wholeheartedly hold on to it, there were times that I have my doubts.
On the 29th of December, I came back home happy as I have managed to register for a class that I (really) wanted to join back in 2016. Not realising that I did not think through the cost of the class. (I know, what?!?)
Today, 7th of January, since it is my birthday month, my brother let me choose what I want.
So I offered him, do you want to pay for my class? You want to pay the miscellaneous fees or the monthly fees?
I thought he just wanted to pay for this month fees. But he offered to pay for the whole course. MasyaAllah. (Maybe he will pay for my future diploma also…aamiin)
Anyone else wants to pay for my other classes? I have other classes too. You can totally contact me if you want. Any takers? No?
May Allah reward him bountifully.