“I just realized that we became friends when we are both healing. You are healing physically (mostly) while I was healing emotionally.”

And apparently both of us met the ‘new’ side of us. Not knowing that we were completely different the year before.

Then we slowly progressed along the way. Alhamdulillah, you healed so much that you are now heavier than me 😄

His plans are perfect. It is up to us to believe it.

Perhaps one day, when we are in a different phase of life, when I have ‘transformed’ to another (and better) side of myself, we shall meet again some day.

أنا عند ظن عبدي بي
i am what as my slave expects me to be

الله يحفظك



There is a piece of antique in my heart.
A work of art.

I do not know how it got there.
Perhaps because I have not been taking care of my heart with due care.

Stayed there far too long.
This is so wrong.

Rust seeping into my blood system.
Slowly poisoning me, I can already see the symptoms.

Name me the price to sell off this art.
Because he is such a dangerous antique to have in my heart.


She asked me to do about antics, but I wrote about antique. Give chance please?



K: Kakaaak(Older sister)…

A: Can you not kakak-kakak me. What?

K: Heeeeeh. Can I not go to school? It is soooo far.

A: No. Go.

K: But it is sooo far. It is like surah al-kahfi and surah mulk kind of far.

A: Oh? So that means you can actually finish one juz per day right? 10page when you are going to school and another 10 when you are coming home?

K: Ahhh….yeah…

A: So read the Quran then. What have you been doing in your life? Go memorize then. It is not like you have memorize it right? So memorize. What have you been doing all this while in the train? Scrolling your instagram?

K: I shouldn’t have said anything….

A: What did you say?

K: Uhh nothing.

A: Don’t make me count for you how many selawat (salutations to Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) you can make.



It was the 27th of July 2015. I just contacted my friend for an impromtu dinner. Unfortunately, I misplaced my ezlink card (transportation card).

I thought maybe I accidentally put it in my report that I handed over to my tutor that day. I actually asked her to help me check in her suitcase. She didn’t find it.

I retraced my footsteps in school to look for it. But nope, I can’t find it.

So I cancelled the dinner with my friend.

اللهم اجرنى فى مصيبتى واخلفنى خيرا منها.

O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it.

The next day, I thought of making a new card. But the officer at the counter said she needed my Identification Card- I didn’t have it with me.

اللهم اجرنى فى مصيبتى واخلفنى خيرا منها.

O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it.

I was angry at my self. Really.

The very next day, I went to school and bought myself a drink at the canteen. While I was waiting, the auntie returned me my ezlink card.

I was puzzled and grateful. It was actually a blessing that I forgot to bring my identification card the day before.

Maybe it was a blessing too that I didn’t meet that friend that day?

When He doesn’t want something to happen, He will prevent it from happening.

I do not know why this happened. Maybe just so I write this. Maybe to emphasize to my heart that He is in control.

And indeed, He is in control and He knows best.

There is a lot of things that happened that I don’t understand. But I know You know the best for me.

Ya Allah, you blessed me with Islam when I didn’t ask for it. Ya Allah,Bless me with Jannatul Firdaus as I am asking for it!  Imam Ash-Shafii رحمه الله تعالى



I don’t know any other relief or cure from heartache, anxiety, you, worry, grief and all the other problems except from listening and reading the Quran and sending the salutations to our beloved Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم

May Allah grant us the gift of being able to make constant remembrance of Allah and our beloved Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم

And may the constant remembrance enables us to feel their presence in our daily lives to the extent that our actions and conducts will be what is only pleasing to them.

اللهم صل وسلم وبارك عليه وعلى آله