I was spamming my cousin with my pictures because she said she don’t want to look at my face.

So i kept sending her till she actually responded “Motif?” (She meant ‘motive’)

I actually smiled at that statement, although it seems obvious that I was trying to annoy her, duh, her statement brought back the time when I actually asked myself “Why do you take a picture of your self?”

I would say I am glad my parents were against posting my pictures online, or else, perhaps, I might have? Hahaha.

At the same time, it is a reminder for me to ask myself. “What is your motive?” “What is your intention?”

In islamic ruling, there is this ruling called ‘mubah’, which basically means if you do it then it is okay but if you don’t do it then it is okay too.

But the devil, he will always try to make you leave your obligations and do something haram, if he can’t, he will make you leave the sunnah, if he can’t, then he will make you busy with the mubah.

There’s nothing wrong with mubah. In fact, a mubah can be a means where you will get a good deed if the intention is right intention.

But we forget. Always.

Multiple post with no real intention underlying it. So it became just a mubah.

And the point of the devil  to inspire you to fill up your time with mubah things is so you will leave other beneficial things to do in life.

So always ask yourself, what is my motive for posting this?


Mock Interview

“Are you proud of where you are now?”

The interviewer asked another student.

And in my head I am going ‘Oh Wow’.


Language of the Heart

I can know you from your writings
Essays or poetries
Straightforward or longwinded
Simple or complicated

But we are not only papers or pens
Blogs or instagrams
Tumblrs or twitters
Ones or zeros

I understand you with the language of the heart
Unwritten and unheard of
Silent but loud
Subtle yet obvious

The way your cheeks flustered
The watery eyes that you tried to hide
The jumpy shadows following you
And even from your silent stares

Language of the heart
Is the language I understand you with


The Big ‘Oh?’

I met up with a sort of financial planner today.

Halfway through, I was explaining islamic finance stuff, the stand on insurance, which one is permissible for Singaporeans, why there is a different ruling in Malaysia (because there is takaful), the dintinction between halal and haram investments for muslims, briefly explained how zakat works and where the money goes to etc.

She then mentioned about a muslim friend having life insurance and all.

Interesting conversation.

She just knew that there is a distinction between what is halal and haram for a muslim even in our financial planning. Can’t blame her. She don’t really have to know after all. Okay perhaps she needs to if she is selling insurance and is planning for a muslim client.

It’s okay if you don’t know. Many muslims don’t too.

I hope that as a practitioner, perhaps when she is meeting up with a muslim client, it will be something that she will bring up. Perhaps like a ‘hey, you want to check with a specialist in the islamic finance to see if this plan is permissible for you?’

I hope so. I hope.


I Want to Want

I want to be excited again

I want to want something out of this life

I want to want to have a career

I want to want to become someone’s wife

I want to want to become a mother

I want to want to graduate

I want to want to excel

I want to want to want

Anything as long as I can feel something rather than just wanting to be the air and dust that you breathe



Why do you follow her account?

Erm. Just follow for fun.

Uwais, accidentally seeing a picture without her hijab is okay because the first look is excused and only the second look is a sin. Yes?

Uhuuuh. Yes Ummi. Why?

If you follow an account knowing the person will absolutely post a picture without her hijab, then you see it, is that still considered accidental?

But she’s my classmate, Ummi….

But just said you follow her for fun. Correct your intention. Why do you follow her? If you like her picture, doesn’t some of your friends can see the picture you liked? Then you’ll also get the sin of she, who do not wear hijab, and those guys who followed you and can see the picture you liked?

But she’s my classmate. Silaturrahim….

But you just said you followed her for fun. Which one is which?