The Love Series #6

I wish I can silence my heart
It kept on repeating
With every other beat
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you


ففروا إلى الله

“Ummi…pain…” Uwais complained to his mother and was showing his leg.

“Come. I massage you.” His mother replied.

Uwais walks over to his mother limping a bit. His mother massages him till he fall asleep.

When he woke up he said “Ummmiiii… Uwais sorry….”


“Uwais didn’t listen to Ummi. Uwais ran when Ummi said don’t run but Uwais ran. Then Uwais fell.”

“Then in the end complain to Ummi pain?”

“Heh” Uwais hugs his mother. “It is like magic. Ummi massages Uwais, so now Uwais not in pain anymore.”

When he was sitting in his mother’s lap. His mother said while caressing his forehead, moving his dark brown hair away from his eyes “Uwais, why did you disobeyed me but you still end up coming to me to cure your pain?”

“Because…..you are my Ummi!”

Oh dear self, oh dear slave of Allah, regardless of how many times you disobeyed Him, go back to Him.




I think it is normal to always forget something when we are packing.

Today I brought my dying laptop without the charger to school. It is as if bringing an extra burden that I thought would be of beneficial use in class.

Perhaps there would be deeds that we thought would be beneficial to us in the hereafter but it turned out going against us.

You remember the hadith qudsi? Where the man said that he acquired knowledge and then taught it to others for the sake of Allah but then he was called a liar. He actually did it because he wanted people to acknowledge him as a renowned scholar. He was thrown into the hellfire. How scary can this be. Intentions are important.

On some days, I forgot to pack what I need. Or I procrastinated to pack. Some days, i feel like hiding myself in the suitcase instead. Somehow hoping everything would be okay in the other country even though I have not even finish packing.

Somehow I must get out of the suitcase even though I am tired. Look at what I have packed. Make sure the essentials are there. Remove all the unnecessary items. Add in more important stuffs.

It is funny how my suitcase is still in a mess. But I am looking out of the window wondering why the taxi isn’t here yet.


The Love Series #5

“Nad, if you saw your fiance going out with another women”


“Listen first please. Relax, I’m not saying he is”

“Hahah okay”

“If you saw your fiance going out with another women, will your heart be crushed because of the fact he is cheating on you or you will be crushed because he is disobeying Allah because he is not supposed to go out with another women.”


“If you love Allah more then you will be hurt or mad because he is disobeying Allah right? Or perhaps because you love him so you will be scared about the sin he is accumulating. So that is the issues you will have with him and not so much for the fact that he breaks your heart…”

“But I’m human. I have feelings. I hate your questions…”



I just want to mark this day.
I literally fell.
And walked away like nothing happened.
I guessed the ones that had known what I have been going through would understand what I am talking about.
There were times that I almost gave up trying.
But this day actually came.
I fell.
And walked away like nothing happened.