Q: When did you start wearing the slightly larger version of the hijab/scarf? (Referring to the 60-Inch Square Scarf. Normal is 45-Inch)
A: I do not really remember exactly how it all started. I’m not sure is it because that the 45-Inch was not covering me well or I accidentally tried on my mother’s scarf (which is the 60-Inch) then I love it?
In the end, I realized I did not get stares or some boy said hi or anything along that line and so I was like “I am sooo going to keep wearing this.”
It keeps me safe=) (33:59)
Translation by Dr. Ghali
“O you Prophet, say to your spouses and your daughters and the women of believers, that they draw their outer garments closer to them; that will (make) it likelier that they will be recognized and so will not be hurt. And Allah has been Ever-Forgiving, Ever-Merciful.” (33:59)
Q: What prompt you into wearing it?
A: I just answered that=) Just to add on, there is this sense of responsibility to protect myself from these boys. (I call them boys because mature Muslim guys don’t do stuff like that. Boo!)
Q: What did your family/ close people say about your decision?
A: Nothing. Except that this one relative (not close) was saying something like it (Jilbab-slightly bigger version of a scarf) makes me look old. At first I was a bit self-conscious? Then I was saying to myself oh just ignore her.
Q: Have you ever wished that you could have worn it from young?
A: If you are saying that I ever wished someone of a higher authority (parents, school etc) forced me to have worn it from young then I would say no. I guess if I have worn it from young, I would not have noticed the different reaction from the opposite gender? The learning journey actually makes it more impactful for the change.
Q: What impact has it done to you as compared from your previous lifestyle? (Wearing the normal size)
A: It makes me more mindful of my behavior.
Q: Do you think that people treats you differently now?
A: People thought I’m a religious teacher or religious which obviously I’m not -.-“
But it helps in terms of people not saying a bad word in front of me or at least they are mindful of the topics they brought up in front of me. This is good for my ears, Alhamdulillah.
Q: Share some experience in a form of discrimination about your current appearance?
A: Does the auntie’s comment mentioned above a form of discrimination? No biggie about that. That auntie will still look older than me =P
Q: Hence, do you regret wearing it? Or what gives you the strength to holding tight to it?
A: Absolutely no.
Firstly, I would say my personality helps a lot. I do not like to be known and thus this cloth gave me sort of like a shield.
Secondly, the responsibility to protect myself from adultery. I was thinking about the verse ‘Laa taqrabuzzinaa’ (Don’t go near to fornication/adultery). It will all start with a girl and a boy. Then it will be just talking. Then it will be just meeting. And the rest is history.
People will say to me ‘No…you won’t do that’ etc but I learnt to not ever think that ‘I would not go to that path’. That sounded self-righteous and so I feel the need to protect myself and to not even let the devil gets the boy to get near me. (For unnecessary dealings) Or gets me to be attracted and then reply to the ‘Hi’ and have a conversation and blablabla. On top of that, it is partly because I personally think that that is one of the weak point that the devil will that advantage of- girl/women and boy/guy relationship. So there is a need to have a super duper protection.
Thirdly, I saw too much eyes scanning the opposite gender. Enough said. I guess it’s really up to individuals whether one is comfortable with that. Some do not mind their wife wearing almost nothing for the whole world to see but some do mind. So really, it’s up to individuals.
Answering for a survey. Changed the question a bit. Sorry this came in super late *insert name* ! ❤