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He Listens

Amazing how I actually almost decide on something in particular on an issue, without having anyone to talk about, then I went to a talk that actually offered me another perspective on that issue.

Not that I don’t have anyone to talk about. I think I would consider myself very very picky on who I want to talk to. And apparently those people are usually busy (and may never reply).

I was literally going ‘Look! You feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to and Allah sends a scholar/teacher to address what you are dealing with.’

ونحن أقرب إليه من جبل الوريد

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Peredaran Zaman

Pernah dengar makcik-makcik kutuk anak dara (kau) sekarang tak boleh masak?

And then there will be those ‘Ey dulu kite kecik-kecik dah pandai masak’

Kalau bukan pasal Tuhan dan ingin beradab, dah lame nak cakap ‘Ey cik dah tua-tua belum bace Quran lagi?’

Innaa lillaaah innaa lillaaah.

‘Kalau cik bersabar dgn saye mcm mane ustaz bersabar dgn cik, dh compom saye expert. Tapi cik dok tahu kutok je.’

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Teaching Experience

I feel like writing but I don’t feel like editing. So this post will most likely be my raw thoughts i.e all over the place and grammatically wrong.

One of the things I’ve learnt after teaching for around 8 years now (oh wow?!) is that Allah grants people with different talents. Very different strengths and weaknesses. Rezeki orang lain-lain.

Take for example me and my best friend. I am good in maths, I got distinctions over the years, maths is something I am comfortable with, a subject that I dare speak up in class if the teacher is wrong.

But english, nope. That’s my best friend’s territory, that is her A1 subject (and my worst subject ever). Up until today, I must think hard whether to use has, have, had, has been or had been…. it does not come naturally for me.

You get what I mean?

And these differences in strengths and weaknesses is also a result of how we have been brought up.

I sometimes teach Quran. There were times I asked students to memorise the sujud tilawah prayer. I chose for them the shortest one I can find, which is around 6 words. As a madrasah student, I can memorise the prayer perhaps in less than a minute. Why? Because I was brought up in an environment where I need to memorise a lot and of course because I understand arabic.

I can tell you that my student can take up to 20 minutes just to memorise that line. Why? Because she don’t understand arabic and she was not trained to memorise things.

When I am teaching, I always need to know my students’ background, strengths and weaknesses.

If I don’t then I might accidentally blurt out things like ‘why are you so slow???’

Get it? We are all different and we are all trained differently.

I was perhaps trained to study. I literally enjoyed studying. And I am someone that had tuition for literally every subject since kindergarten up till PSLE. Students are usually sent to a weekday madrasah or a weekend madrasah during kindergarten, guess what, I was sent to both.

I rarely played sports. I hate getting my hair wet. I prefer books. And talking to random people I don’t know can freak me out.

Personally I think people don’t realise how much time I spend my life studying and not meeting people that talking to people can really take a toll on me.

Do outgoing people get it? Maybe some would. Or not. Why? Because it is ‘just talking to people’. If I were to use it to these people it will be like ‘it is just maths, why can’t you do completing the square? Really.’

My body was not trained to endure much physical training. Maybe you can let me sit for a 3-hours lecture and maybe I am still concentrating. But a half hour training? Maybe not. But maybe someone else can. But in the future, with the right training, can I endure it? InsyaAllah yes. But it might take time right?

Once I understand this, I have stopped expecting people to get the grades I have achieved. I began to understand how something that I enjoyed so much like maths can be torturous for some.

What teachers need to do is to acknowledge these strengths and weaknesses: Okay I know you are not good at this, but slowly okay, we can do this. And for some, it will take time, believe me it will.

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Numb

I never thought of it this way, well until one fine day.

I am not judging anyone of you people out there, but I always see is as an aib or a flaw if I was caught continuously watching something. Like how messed up am I that I continuously watch shows or videos. How low can my standard of living be. No, you were not made for this. How could you stoop so low watching things that could never benefit you and worst, harm your afterlife.

But interestingly enough, I am simply numbing myself aren’t I?

‘No, don’t think of that office job. No, no more bursting your lips. Nah, no more Macs during lunch. Nope, no more nasty toilets. Nope.’

And for some reason, unless you mix around with the right people, nobody is going to highlight that to you. Nobody is going to ‘Hey, you are kind of getting too deep in this mess.’

Except for some, or I mean, well….one.

‘You are watching Finding Dory?’……and ‘Your motive? (of sending me your funny pictures)’

Not many people will remind you your purpose in life. What is your intention in doing that? Will this benefit you or anyone? You are not created to waste time, please wake up, you are getting good at that (wasting time).

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Subtle Differences

Current thoughts:

Do you see the difference between

1) I think that is permissible because if you think about it, there is nothing wrong with it.

2) Based on the the arguments put forth by the scholars, I am of the opinion that it is permissible.

For example, listening to music. There are differences of opinions, sure. But I think sometimes the people in the first group did not study the whole argument and therefore assumed, based on ‘what I think’ and ‘what I heard’ until all music becomes permissible, which is not true.

Scary ey? Most of us (including me) sometimes don’t know what we don’t know and assumed that we know when we actually don’t know.