You are that dream I never thought would one day become my nightmare.

I never thought that that feeling could even be felt when I am asleep.

I ran far far away from everything you but

Why is it that I still see you.



When you are asking Him,

Rather than focusing on who you are,

Focus on who you are asking from.

We always felt not worthy of those ‘big’ things like heaven or a good spouse,

But are we even worthy enough for anything that He ever gave?

That sip of cold water we just drank, the ability to close our eyelids, the steps that we walked or the breath that we just took?

What have we ever done to even deserve all that?

You see, it is not that we are worthy enough for anything, but it is that He, who is God, who is Arrazzaq, Arrahmaan, Arrahiim, who is worthy of giving,

And so much more.


Intimately Interwoven

I love how Baraka Blue puts it “I proceed with the firm conviction – for what reason I cannot easily say – that below the layers of persona we each wear, there is a place deep within where we all meet.”

All the “Eh! I was about to call/msg you and you beat me to it” or “I just thought about you.” Or “Are you getting married uh? Coz I dreamt you told me you are”

Sometimes, it almost felt like, our ruuh met and talked to each other even before we physically contacted each other.

And for whatever reason too, I think you got the message, even before I can even msg you, that I miss you.


He Listens, He Answers, He is talking to you.

When you are searching for that one verse to remind you to not look at what He gave others but you can’t seem find it. But then you stood behind the imam, and he reads out the exact verse that you are looking for:

وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَىٰ مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِۦٓ أَزْوَٰجًا مِّنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ ۚ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَىٰ

And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah), the splendour of the life of this world that We may test them thereby. But the provision (good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more lasting.

When you are mad at yourself for being you and your mind starts to have all the debate about if only you are like everyone else. And then the imam reads the verse:

سَلَٰمٌ عَلَيْكُم بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ ۚ فَنِعْمَ عُقْبَى ٱلدَّارِ

“Salamun ‘Alaikum (peace be upon you) for that you persevered in patience! Excellent indeed is the final home!”

Such ‘coincidence’.



Sometimes, it is not about those that were present in every anniversaries, every birthdays, graduations and all the big events in your life.

Well, they matter.

But sometimes, it is about those that were always present in every 3am breakdowns, every confused moments, every roller coaster ride (metaphorically speaking), every frustration and every teardrop.

You are lucky if there is even one around.

Keep them.



I am just that person that don’t like people to wait for me and would ask people to go first.

And I am also the one that will say to myself ‘See, you’ll never fit in. Who in the world will wait for you. Pergh.’


As much as I am used to it, there will be times that, you know, that feeling when you r weakness is staring straight back at you.

Turtle it is.

Turtle it is.

Slow and steady wins the race.


Is there is a price tag?

If only it was possible to trade my fair skin that I never asked for

If only I could give up my iPhone 7 that I never asked for

If only I could exchange my business seat that I never asked for

If only I could pay cash

If only there was a price tag

I would have paid for it

I would have paid for it.

And when people thought about oh how lucky

It comes with a price

Oh it comes with a price

A price no amount of money can buy.

فصبر جميل

فصبر جميل